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Joke of the Day

"What are the differences among a piano, a tuna, and super glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna"

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"I want to see where the indians live.... But I have my reservations."
"What did the farmer say when his fat pig wouldn't fit into the pen? ""There's more there than meets the sty."""
"Doctor,doctor! A man goes to the doctor, concerned if he is becoming a thief. The doctor replies, ""well, have you taken anything for it?"""
"me *sneezes* cw: Bless you me *sneezes* cw: Allergies? [flashback to me snorting pepper because my kid dared me to] me: Yeah, I guess so"
"A programmers wife tells him... A programmers wife tells him: Run to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen. The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread..."
"Hello everyone this is your pilot speaking. If u look out the windows on your left youll see some fish. This is the worst Ive ever messed up"
"A photon arrives at the airport As he checks in, security asks him: ""Do you not have any luggage?"" The photon replies, ""No, I'm travelling light""."
"What did the Office of Admissions say to the recently-accepted Urology student? ""Ur-ine!"""
"A woman converting to Islam is like a black person converting to slavery."