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Joke of the Day

"Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix? He was asking for directions."

"All animals are wild animals if you give them tequila and lift up their t-shirts."

"First time I got high was pretty intense. I was in the back seat of my brothers car. Must have been some good shit since I'm an only child."

"What is the difference between 'light' and 'hard'? I can sleep with a light on."

"I said to my neighbour Jamal... I said to my neighbour Jamal, ""You're like marmite, you know Jamal."" He replied, ""What? You love me or hate me?"" I replied, ""No, you're black and you fucking smell."""

"Little Johnny Orders A Pizza ""I'll have an extra large pie, but hold the cheese, hold the sauce, and hold the crust on that pizza!"" Haha"

"My daughter asks for Frozen stuff for Christmas, so i bought her frozen chips and a packet of peas"

"Why did Angela Merkel ban use of crabgrass lawn treatments? She was told they would stop the ""German nation"""

"What do girls and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them"

"*Farmer walks into job application Farmer: I barely speak English, and my village doesn't have a computer. Employer: BOOM! Tech support!"