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Joke of the Day

"What did the Office of Admissions say to the recently-accepted Urology student? ""Ur-ine!"""

"I'm not saying I'm bilingual but if you shout at me in German I'll probably do whatever you want"

"Did you hear Prince's sister is inheriting his estate? There's just one problem... She's just like their mother, so she's never satisfied."

"Did you guys see the new line of Tony Romo's cologne? Every time you wear it, you fuck up and the other guy scores."

"A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. So the bear says to the rabbit: ""do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"" The rabbit says no. So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take me a minute to get hard, I was just laid by this chick."

"Do you think anyone has ever superglued a pair of sunglasses to their face. Wow I hope so. The ultimate level of coolness"

"Blood is Thicker than water, but maple syrup is Thicker than blood. Therefore, pancakes are more important than family."

"You don't need a parachute to go skydiving You need a parachute to go skydiving twice."

"Did you hear the one about the sprinkler that tried to spray a man in the eye? It completely mist!"