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Joke of the Day

"I like Gila monsters because they're willing to admit they're monsters, unlike giraffes"

"Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn has gotten off pretty lucky... The last German who tried to gas that many people had to commit suicide!"

"It's crazy how quick women are to cut each other's throats over a guy! I mean I'd understand if it were shoes....but a guy???"

"What did one orphan say to the other? Robin get in the Bat mobile."

"According to my iPhone 6, I could commit a heinous crime, without using gloves, and have a different fingerprint just minutes later"

"The world is becoming too politically correct You can't even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say ""Lamar can you please paint the fence""."

"friend gave me an inhaler my friend was dying on the floor and he gave me an inhaler, guess he wanted to give something for me to remember him. weird."

"Wanna hear a joke about ebola? never mind, you probably won't get it."

"Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes? It would only admit one."

"A man walks in to a green grocer's ""Excuse me ma'am, are these carrots genetically modified?"" ""No"" interrupted the carrot."