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Joke of the Day

"If the sign says ""don't feed the fishes"" then what can you feed fishes anyway? Nothing. Weren't you listening?"

"""Hey, I can see my house from here!"" - homeless people, almost all the time"

"7yo: ""Who's singing this?"" Me: ""Franz Ferdinand."" 7yo: ""But, he died in 1914."" Me:"

"So I've got this friend Dan. But when Dan gets mad, he seems kinda girly. Because when Dan gets mad, *Danielle*."

"I thought I really understood what I was thinking, and then I spoke."

"I took a public speaking class in college. I did a presentation about Free Speech. It was mostly just about the website where I downloaded my speech."

"Due to the weather, I was able to use the words ""wet and slippery"" at work all day without anyone thinking I'm a big perv."

"Did you hear about the farmer who fell in love with his cows milk? It was his significant udder"

"Now I understand why the British population was on a steady decline these past few years... Brits are really good at pulling out."

"What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be."