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Joke of the Day

"I took a public speaking class in college. I did a presentation about Free Speech. It was mostly just about the website where I downloaded my speech."

"If you throw acid on a basic bitch does she become salt?"

"A guy goes to a pharmacy and buys some slimming products. He asks the pharmacist: How much do you think I will be losing with this? Pharmacist replies: Well ... around 200 bucks."

"Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? Because he needed his space."

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... One deer turns to the other and say, ""man, I can't believe I blew 30 bucks in there!"""

"What did the captain say to the men before they got on the boat? ""Men, get on the boat."""

"Today a preacher told me that Jesus died for me, it made feel feel horrible.... I didn't even know the poor guy was sick!"

"Why is USA so gloomy? Because only two parties exist for the whole country"

"Why do photons travels slower through water? They having a float-on. it very good"

"""the immaturity and the copying are my main issues"" I say in a whiny voice as my wife storms out of the counsellors office"