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Joke of the Day

"So I've got this friend Dan. But when Dan gets mad, he seems kinda girly. Because when Dan gets mad, *Danielle*."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Given away for free at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting."

"What does a Muslim pirate say? Allahu Ackbarrrrr!"

"There are 10 types of people in this world... 1. Those who understand ternary. 2. Those who don't. 10 . Those who expected the binary gag."

"Why did the Reddit cross the line?"

"I'm such a slave to the man working on a Saturday night. A drunk slave but whatever. Atleast my e-mails to my boss are hilarious now."

"""OPEN UP, THIS IS THE POLICE!"" haha, no way losers. I've got things to do. *cop whispering* ""what do we do? this guy is owning us hard!"""

"What's so good about being Swiss? Well, the flag is a big plus."

"Apparently my hub is a 92 yr old trapped in a younger body. He just referred to you guys as my Pinstagram friends."

"Me: Can I bet $20 on the Panthers to win the Super Bowl? Government: Sorry, no Me: Ok, can I buy 1k in powerball tickets? G: Lol, of course"