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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about helicopter that crashed into that graveyard? Police have so far recovered 54 bodies"

"I still use the word ""dude"". I don't give a dude. I don't use it right, but I still dude it."

"The Pythagorean Theorem, Newton's Third Law and Bernoulli's Principle walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""I'm not going to get this joke aren't I?"""

"My girlfriend thinks I'm a gentleman for waiting for her to go inside before I drive away. When really I'm just letting out about 6 hours' worth of farts."

"My brother has muscular dystrophy and we got into an argument about religion I told him his argument is just as valid as his legs.... Weak."

"Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor? because Sam sung better than him"

"Everyone said I should get a kid I really don't see what all the fuss is about. All mine does is ask 'How long until I can see my parents again?'"

"How do you say hi Hello"

"Dopted Dad: Have you seen an animal named Dopted? Son: What's a Dopted? Dad: You are. You're adopted."

"That's pretty cool that Mary Shelley wrote Heidi Montag's biography before she was even born. #Frankenstien"