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Joke of the Day

"Everyone said I should get a kid I really don't see what all the fuss is about. All mine does is ask 'How long until I can see my parents again?'"

"[Bowling Alley] ""I'm sorry sir, but we don't have any bowling shoes left"" *gestures towards a happy family of centipedes bowling*"

"Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space? Because they've just had a big launch."

"How do you convert Spanish programming into English? Yes++"

"How do black geese call to white geese? HONKEY! HONKEY!"

"Our dog is named lucky he often escapes, so we'll be up all night to get lucky"

"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank they turn off the surveillence cameras"

"Do you know why divorce is so expensive? Because its worth it!"

"I wrote a limerick on a train yesterday There once was a fella named Rick Who started to date this hot chick But brief was romance For tucked in her pants This bitch the whole time had a dick."