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Joke of the Day
"Why are there no astronauts on Twitch.tv? Because in space, no one can hear you stream."
Next Joke
"According to the law it's not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership."
"What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing? The cast-a-net."
"I heard that no real accountants were consulted during the filming of the new movie The Accountant. They want the movie to be entertaining."
"It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist's finger before she stops believing that you're doing it accidentally."
"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... ...so I went out and got drunk."
"a dog pisses on an ant... and the ant says ""hey watch it!"" and the dog says ""i don't have a watch"""
"How many more spills do you think parents in paper towel commercials can take before they just push one of those kids down the stairs?"
"What do you call a random selection of sailors? A seamen sample"
"The next time your boss asks you to start your presentation with a joke... ...attach your payslip on the first slide."