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Joke of the Day

"I heard that no real accountants were consulted during the filming of the new movie The Accountant. They want the movie to be entertaining."

"If you play Rebecca Black's ""Friday"" backwards, Satan appears and asks why you have so much fucking time on your hands."

"I just went to the apple orchard with my girlfriend... My only complaint was I didn't get to be in cider."

"For some reason the Pope didn't... sponsor my program for terminally ill Chinese children. He said he didn't like the name - What's wrong with ""Youth in Asia""???"

"Why isn't the Mexican olympic team any good? Anyone who can run jump or swim is already across the border."

"accidentally called the guy at the oil change place ""mom"""

"Some people are doing stuff with their lives!! Let's mock them."

"I don't think we should be to worried if Trump gets elected Politicians never keep their word"

"What do whales do on dates? Netflix and Krill"

"Two guys were competing to see who could masturbate into menswear the fastest... in the end it didn't matter, they both came in a tie."