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Joke of the Day
"The best part of waking up is... nothing. Waking up blows. Fuck you, Folgers."
Next Joke
"""I wish I could answer phone calls with my Walkman."" -Steve Jobs in the 80's"
"I like my girls like my file system... FAT and 16."
"Why the musician sold his computer... Not enough gigs."
"How many dead hooker's in your basement does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 4"
"How do you help a sick ghost feel better? Give it a BOO-quet of flowers!"
"Last Christmas I got a sweater, For this Christmas I want a moaner or a screamer."
"You know it's time to quit smoking when you laugh at a tweet and you sound like Muttley."
"Sean Spicer said the inauguration had the ""largest audience ever."" Then he took it back because your mother left."
"As I spread my girlfriend's ass cheeks, I thought to myself... This is the weirdest thing I've ever had on toast."