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Joke of the Day

"""I wish I could answer phone calls with my Walkman."" -Steve Jobs in the 80's"

"TIFU Don't know why she legally changed her name to 'Up' though."

"What seemed to be the parrots problem? Prolly wanted a cracker!"

"Why did Adelle cross the road? To say hello from the other side."

"They say that 1 out of a group of 5 guys is gay.... I'm really hoping it's Jake, because he's *super cute*."

"If you mix taco bell sauce into your ramen.. It tastes exactly like poverty."

"What cheese is not yours? Not your cheese...."

"My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate."

"Batman should teach girls about periods in school... ""Tell me, do you bleed?... You will."""

"Life is a lot like a piece of toilet paper. You're either on a roll, or you're taking shit from some asshole."