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Joke of the Day

"If grandmothers say ""love you to the moon and back"" Do gay men say ""love you to Uranus and back""?"

"What did the grape say after the elephant stepped on him? Nothing, he just let out a little whine."

"Whenever I'm feeling really tired, I just watch the new Star Wars trailer... Because The Force Awakens me"

"Bruce Wayne: I wanna fight crime. Alfred: You're a billionaire. Open orphanages, free clinics, day care cen- Bruce: No I wanna punch people."

"""Bro, if she can still walk to the kitchen to make you a sandwich, you did it wrong."" - murderers, apparently."

"Mondays are made for booze & antidepressants...ah hell, I'll just skip to the booze."

"No matter how tired one is, put a computer in front of them and they can stay awake."

"So glad the new phone book arrived, because I hate texting the wrong number from the rotary phone in my Ford Model T."

"I need to stop drinking so much milk. It's an udder disgrace."

"Two black men jumped off the building. Who reached the ground first? Noone cares."