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Joke of the Day

"So glad the new phone book arrived, because I hate texting the wrong number from the rotary phone in my Ford Model T."

"You only miss something when you notices something is gone... Only now I realise how many words requires the letter W because my keyboard can't type 'W'."

"How do you restore your body back to 'factory settings'? Is it kale? it's kale, isn't it? please don't say kale."

"People who say they ""Like to have fun""... No shit?"

"How do you get an iraqi woman pregnant? Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest."

"Why is the area between the boobs and the ass called the 'waist?' Because you could easily fit two more boobs down there."

"The road to hell is paved. That's nice."

"What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath? One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole"

"I farted on an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels. From /r/PeterL"

"What game did the dentist play when she was a child?...Caps and robbers"