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Joke of the Day

"This bloke in the pub last night was boasting that when he orgasms, he ejaculates up to a pint of semen at a time.I found that a bit hard to swallow"

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"I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and my doctor said it was caused by browsing /r/funny."
"Opposites don't always attract. I've met several sane and normal people and found nothing about them appealing."
"What does a drug addict and a child have in common? They both want tablets for Christmas."
"It's kinda bullshit that carpenter ants can't even build IKEA furniture."
"A question that answers itself What is curiosity?"
"I'm a virgin but I have sex sometimes"
"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming."
"Wife: I'll just have a salad. Waiter: and for you, sir? Me: I'll be giving her half of my food."
"My favorite parts of the Bible are when Jesus is alone talking to God (himself) and someone who wasn't there is writing about it."