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Joke of the Day

"Why don't spies meet at bars. The beer is tapped. (Please develop this joke. I made it up last night whilst drinking, but nobody laughed.)"

"What do the Montreal Canadians and marijuana addicts have in common? Both of them smoke the leafs"

"Ugh don't you hate it when you accidentally leave the volume up on your phone & the next stall hears the *click* when you snapchat your turd"

"Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation? A: A new bar"

"""Bitches always be conforming to unhealthy standards set and perpetuated by the media."" - socially conscious rapper"

"If you can't handle me at my fattest, then you sure as hell don't deserve me if I ever lose weight. Which could happen, you don't know."

"What does an electrician say while meditating? Ohm... Ohm..."

"What did the poor, unfortunate, paraplegic kid get for christmas? Cancer."

"Damn girl, are you (Insert here)? Because (Insert here). Now upvote it you simple minded fucks."

"Why did the orange go to the doctor? Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here"