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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to throw an awesome surprise party for my daughter when she gets home and realizes I know that she snuck out! SURPRISE!"

"What happens when you give a cow marijuana? The ""steaks"" get higher"

"What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!"

"Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting? He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ..."

"Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed. I think I'll return the piece of shit to Ikea!"

"Double limb transplants are so expensive They cost an arm and leg"

"If Earth was a rented apartment, ain't NOOOO WAAAAAY we're getting our security deposit back."

"What do you call cantaloupe flavored gum? A: A Ty-lemma (pronounced like dilemma)"

"The only thing keeping me from cutting eye holes in a newspaper to spy on people in the coffee shop is my constant lack of scissors."

"What did the IT guy say when he threw RAM sticks at the stripper? ""RAMs a make a dance!"""