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Joke of the Day

"Traffic Two civil engineers were competing for a bid to do the road layout for a city. The engineer that lost accused the other of cheating, to which the winner said ""Roundabouts are fair play""."

"How is a lonely twig like a piece of cling wrap? He can only stick to himself."

"What was in those drums of chemicals Captain Malcolm Reynolds hid behind in Firefly? For-Mal-To-Hide."

"Having problems with my low-libido S.O., but last night she finally took one for the team! But when she got home she was completely exhausted and still didn't want to have sex with me."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only two, but the real question is how they got in there."

"What did the helicopter... What did the helicopter dick spinner say to initiate gyration? GO GO GADGET!!"

"Teacher: Any questions *raises hand* T: NO DUMB ONES ""Can you see continent names from space"" T: FOR FU-..ugh...Not if it's cloudy bud"

"Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus? So he'd use natural logs!"

"Scientists discover that Jupiter's moon, Europa, may be suitable for human habitation. When asked to comment Jupiter stated, ""Oh, hell no."""

"The world would be a much better place if people like Adolf Hitler were still born. EDIT: typo, 'stillborn'"