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Joke of the Day

"[alligator store] Clerk: $1500. Thanks Me: not gonna say bye to him? Clerk: uh Me: say it Clerk: goodbye Me: say ""see you later alligator"""

"I like my sex how I like my endoplasmic reticulum... Rough"

"The Tortoise and the Hare is a classic story about how people who like to run are awful."

"I tried to convince the grape that she had dried out... But I just couldn't raisin with her. I'll see myself out."

"My smart friend My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"Guy walks up to his wife with a duck under his arm... ""Honey. This is the pig I've been fucking for the last ten years."" ""That's not a pig, it's a duck!"" ""I was talking to the duck."""

"I like my coffee like I like my women. In the kitchen."

"What do you call a rabbit with no clothes on? A bare hare."

"As a white person, I have a primal fear of getting lost in the snow."

"[Wife walks in wearing nothing but whipped cream] Oh my god, Linda, it's like you've never even heard of ants."