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Joke of the Day

"I always feel bad for cantaloupes ... They just want to get hitched"

"*two minor inconveniences happen at the same time* me: *needs to lie down for 3 days*"

"A Blonde Jokes Two blondes (let's call them Tina and Julie) are talking. Tina: Did you know this New Year is on friday? Julie: OMG, I hope it's not on the 13th."

"I JUST CONSUMED SO MUCH SUGAR THAT I FEEL ALL SHOUTY IN MY HEAD AND CAPS LOCKY AND HOLY CRAP HOW DO PEOPLE DO ACTUAL DRUGS"

"So I guess it's going to be ham for Thanksgiving lulz. cause no more Turkey"

"Where do bourgeois monarchists get their coffee? Tsarbucks"

"What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him? Shoots him 8 times in the black."

"Nobody likes you ""100 Calorie Packs."" Nobody."

"What do you call too many chickens on a farm? A cluster cluck."

"The world has gotten so politically correct that I don't know what is appropriate to throw at a crying baby in a restaurant anymore."