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Joke of the Day

"I JUST CONSUMED SO MUCH SUGAR THAT I FEEL ALL SHOUTY IN MY HEAD AND CAPS LOCKY AND HOLY CRAP HOW DO PEOPLE DO ACTUAL DRUGS"

"What's the difference between a toilet and a drummer? A toilet only has to deal with shit from one asshole at a time."

"Still puzzled on how ""Colonel"" has gotten away with being spelled like that for so long."

"What does an elephant use for a tampon? A sheep."

"In Seattle, there's a code that states when two people are walking towards each other, the one with the bigger coffee cup passes first."

"Red bull gives you crippling heart palpitations just doesn't have the same ring to it."

"a kiss makes your day, but anal sex maks your hole weak"

"What's your ringtone? That's nice. Mine's a light shade of brown."

"Bad is accidently sending your buddy a dirty sext intended for your girlfriend. Worse is getting 'lemme think about it' for a reply."

"The Seattle Seahawks play calling."