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Joke of the Day

"How many midgets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there"

"Everyone knows someone whose laugh is always funnier than the joke."

"A&P is in bankruptcy, and Stop & Shop is buying some of their stores. They'll be called Stop & P."

"What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity? ""Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."""

"The only thing we can anticipate about Nelson Mandela's condition is that his rap discography is about to skyrocket in the charts."

"interviewer: what is ur weakness? me: follow up questions interview: care to elaborate? me: [quivers with fear]"

"[NSFW] What did the farmer say when he got caught watching porn? Amishamed of myself."

"Sex is like lasagna - there's absolutely no reason for it to involve spinach in any form."

"Waiter there is a worm on my plate ! That's not a worm sir it's your sausage ?"

"I can't look my former prostitute partner in the face since someone e-mailed me pics of her in the old days. Never look giffed whores in the mouth."