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Joke of the Day

"How many midgets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there"

"I once told DiCaprio a joke about the Oscars He didn't get it"

"Caesar and Brutus are playing battleships. A2, Brute?"

"Who sung? Sam. Samsung"

"Give a man a match and he's warm for a day.... Set fire to a man and he's warm for the rest of his life."

"It's strange isn't it, you stand in a library and go ""Aaaaaargh"" and everyone stares at you. Do the same thing on an aeroplane and everyone joins in."

"bangs are just a poor woman's botox."

"Being an adult means I'm in charge of my own bedtime, and I've realized I'm not equipped to handle that responsibility."

"Today, I saw a black guy wave to an Asian from across the street. It gives me hope for the future... Rush Hour 4!"

"A Muslim, an idiot, and a communist walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hello Mr.President."""