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Joke of the Day

"The length of your iPhone cord, plus one inch, is how far away the outlet is from the hotel bedside table."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once. "

"How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates? It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content."

"*runs into long lost friend* Him- I started out on the bottom now I'm a district MGR. what do you do? Me- I disappoint people"

"What do I have in common with neutrinos? We are both constantly penetrating your mum."

"Ever see a plane flying toward the moon & it looks like it's gonna hit it & then it does & the oceans boil & wolves take over?"

"Why did Lionel go to the medical store? because it was pharmacy."

"A guy sees an Indian in a port-a-poty The guy asks how long he has been down there. The Indian responds, ""Many a moon"""

"[ear is bleeding for 3 days straight] hmm better keep an eye on that. [laptop slow for one second] i gotta run AdWare & antivirus right now"

"20/__ -- Cyclops with perfect vision"