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Joke of the Day

"The length of your iPhone cord, plus one inch, is how far away the outlet is from the hotel bedside table."

"My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore... ...so I sent him a card, ""Get well soon."""

"Why did the man name his daughter Candy? She was the sweetest mistake he ever made."

"A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear."

"Dad, I'm cold.. Dad : Go stand in the corner son. Son: why? Dad: because its 90 degrees"

"Why didn't the dog want to go into outer space? Because he was scared of vacuums!"

"Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she got to 69, there was a frog in her throat."

"I know a guy who has one eye bigger than the other His hame is Iain"

"Why didn't they punish the student who hung himself? He was already suspended."

"Sorry feminists... Why do doctors slap babies butts when they come out? To knock the balls off the dumb ones."