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Joke of the Day

"*runs into long lost friend* Him- I started out on the bottom now I'm a district MGR. what do you do? Me- I disappoint people"

"How is Chinese airport security like a Russian woman? They'll fuck anybody with an American passport. I say this from experience."

"I came home to my wife yelling ""The square root of pi!"" angrily. I told her she was being irrational."

"Dear Diary: Day 1 of being a gang member. Wore a bandana today, but took it off after a woman shouted ""you go girl!"" from across the street."

"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. We are efficient and dont have humour. Edit: Wow this blew up. As a German, I didnt expect this."

"What's the difference between my penis and a midget dressed as a mouse? Both are small and scare women away... :("

"What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on ahead. I'll hang around"

"Don't be that crazy person who collects cats. Collect something else instead like toenails."

"Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris."

"A Haiku A problem that I Have with haikus is that I Always run out of"