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Joke of the Day

"Ever see a plane flying toward the moon & it looks like it's gonna hit it & then it does & the oceans boil & wolves take over?"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One's pretty heavy and the other is a little lighter."

"LunchablesTM? huge waste of money! I have my kids mill their own wheat then hunt, kill & field strip a wild bologna"

"What does going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common? You have to bite off the crust, lick the gooey stuff before you get to the meaty bits"

"How many Kings of Spain abdicated last week? Just Juan"

"Look mom, my boobs are starting to grow! Yeah Mike, you should lose some weight."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning."

"Some say Obama is the biggest liar of all time.. I say, the person who chose the spelling of, ""Colonel"" is the biggest liar of all time"

"I'm just a naked guy in an elm tree noticing the creepy way you stare at me through your bathroom window."

"Me: *stumbles in front of boss at work* Boss: haha have a nice trip, see you in the fall Me: *takes 8 month vacation*"