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Joke of the Day

"A gun walks into a bar... And says ""Hey bartender - I need to get loaded."" The bartender says ""Ok, I'll get you a few rounds."""

"Cheer up Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president , until after serving 27 years in prison ."

"All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word."

"I have an EpiPen A man lying on the roadside gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"Where do Old Egyptian people go to Swim? The Senile River"

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on tides. The librarian says, ""I'm sorry sir, that's just gone out."""

"you knew the backstreet boys were actually friends because when the one boy asks if hes ""sexual"" the rest of the boys all agree that he is"

"A 95 year old man told me this joke. ""At my age, it's always something. The other day, my Dr. asked for a Urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample. So I gave him my underwear""."

"A suicide bomber goes to Las Vegas to try his luck at the slot machines.... ....he hit the jackpot, and now he's all over the place."

"My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for Christmas I don't think they understood when I said 'I wanna watch'"