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Joke of the Day

"A 95 year old man told me this joke. ""At my age, it's always something. The other day, my Dr. asked for a Urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample. So I gave him my underwear""."

"Old age homes suck people are dying to get out of there."

"If I was your alarm clock, how would I wake you up every morning? With a big dong......."

"New Stephen King book! I hear that Stephen King is writing a new book dealing with the horrors of cat ownership. It's called Pffffffffft!"

"Dogs are perfect napkins because they just think you're petting them."

"What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house? Nothing, Michael liked boys."

"These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant."

"Corny Jokes Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house!!!! Knock Knock!!!! (You know what comes next,comment for the rest)"

"Marriage: where all the excitement, laughter and sex is gone but she's still there."

"What color is a baby in the microwave? I wouldn't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate"