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Joke of the Day

"What is the best letter who represent a man? (A favorite joke of my mother) The Q because is a big zero with a small tail."

"Hello? I'd like to rent one bouncey house, please. How many will be using it? Just one. Her age? Uh. Four........ty-seven."

"This yogurt is so cultured, I can only eat it when I'm listening to Beethoven."

"me: *buys condoms, tampons, lice shampoo, adult diapers, yeast infection cream, an enema and a pregnancy test* cashier: would u like a bag"

"Spent an hour by my wife's grave God bless her soul, she thinks I'm digging a koi pond."

"Find out if the NSA is listening to your call by singing SWEET CAROLINE and if more than one voice responds with bum bum bum THEN YOU KNOW"

"*casually walks into a crowded Sushi Restaurant wearing a dolphin costume* *suddenly stops, looks horrified, & backs slowly out the door*"

"[wedding] Priest: repeat after me Groom: after me P: ... [to bride] is he serious Bride: no his name is gary"

"ME: If home is where the heart is, I guess I live under a canopy of bloody bones. DMV WORKER: I'm not putting that on your license."

"NOBAMA I've been seeing a lot of these ""NOBAMA"" stickers recently and I find that I have to agree. I hate the crimson tide too."