18260

Joke of the Day

"*casually walks into a crowded Sushi Restaurant wearing a dolphin costume* *suddenly stops, looks horrified, & backs slowly out the door*"

"Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church Priest says 'you're not allowed in here! Get out!' Higgs Boson looks at him confused, 'but without me you can't have mass.'"

"[OC] How did the author get from one plot point to the other? A Segway. --any tweaks to make it better?"

"If Helen Keller was a pokemon.. ..she'd be a Mewtwo."

"A logician's wife is having a baby... She gives birth and they hand the baby to him. ""Is it a boy or a girl?"" she asks. ""Yes"" he replies."

"What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once"

"M: Are you gonna eat that baby? Lady: What!!?! Go away you Sick-O' M: Sorry! I saw you putting it on Instagram & figured.. Never mind."

"There's an epidemic in Britain that makes vulnerable young women inexplicably attracted to douchebags who miss leg day."

"Why did the USA invade Panama? Just 'Cause"

"Dude goes to convenience store and asks for cigarettes, gets one and warning reads "" Smoking can cause impotency"" politely asks ""Bro, give me the pack that causes cancer"""