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Joke of the Day

"me: *buys condoms, tampons, lice shampoo, adult diapers, yeast infection cream, an enema and a pregnancy test* cashier: would u like a bag"

"[first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?"

"long joke incummin (LOL) what do christians and right wingers have in common they cant feel the bern"

"And Jesus said unto John... And Jesus said unto John come forth and I shall give you everlasting life. But John came fifth so he only won a toaster."

"What is the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits until your 12 to come on your face"

"Never trust an anti-aging lotion that has an expiry date."

"How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, Feminists can't change anything!"

"I never trust a Tom. They are far too often involved in foolery or peeping for my liking."

"Guys! I finally dusted my bedroom! And guess what? I HAVE A NIGHTSTAND!!!"

"Dear Diary: Day 41 at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. So far none of the other students have noticed that my wand is a Slim Jim."