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Joke of the Day

"Cops: Jay X? Me: Yes. Cops: Your dog has been reported to have chased someone on a bike. Me: Thats bullshit my dog doesnt have a bike."

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? **YOU DONT KNOW YOU WEREN'T THERE!**"

"The Hamburglar burgled HAM. If he stole burgers, he'd be called the Hamburgerburglar."

"I really hate stoners... They are so blunt about everything."

"I'm writinig a book.... It's called *""""Pop goes the hamster"" and other great microwave games""*"

"My father was in the holocaust, he fell of a guard tower!"

"[Jaws 5] Shia LaBeouf: Wait, is that a real shark? Spielberg: ACTION!!"

"What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter? With Twitter the number of characters do not go down with time"

"""I have a hard time with faces. One time I mistook a wolf for my dead grandmother LOL!"" - Little Red Riding Hood, talking to a coat rack."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? Pizzas smell good in the oven"