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Joke of the Day

"What did the McDonald's addict suddenly realize? ...I'm lovin' shit"

"Very few people actually have celiacs. They're usually pretty stern."

"Who takes over when the Ultrasound man is on leave? The Hip Replacement Guy."

"How do you fix the dishwasher? Smack her."

"I heard Donald Trump's apartment is made completely from marble. Apart from the showers. Those are golden."

"I could tell you a joke about sadomasochism, necrophilia and bestiality... But it'd just be beating a dead horse."

"Which two musicians are famous for saying, ""What?"" Lil' Jon and Beethoven."

"I just got told by my dentist that he is homosexual. Bloody Tooth Fairy!"

"I renew my ages-old wish that there was a CD of nothing but SNL closing-credits music that you could play to get people to leave your house."

"Did you hear about the guy who went streaking through a church? The priest caught him by the organ."