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Joke of the Day
"Where the most likely place to find a crack whore? Between a rock and a hard place."
Next Joke
"*watches movie* *sees a scene with full frontal male nudity* *pauses for three months*"
"me: can I buy you a drink? girl: sorry [holds up martini] already got one me: [spits in it] How about now?"
"Why did the man commit suicide by helium suffocation? He wanted to go out on a high note."
"In which sub does OP deliver most often? /r/babybumps/"
"What do prisoners used to talk to each other in jail? Cell Phones."
"Two black guys are in a car, who's driving? The cop"
"Your parents brought you up! Don't bring them down."
"Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth? Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion."
"Her: I'm running a little late. M: how many more seconds er I mean yeah sure take your time. Me, trying to play it cool with the babysitter"