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Joke of the Day

"I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it's never fully connected with me. And also because I caught my neighbour using it."

"What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit."

"Two baby seals walk into a club..."

"Ok, I have two short jokes and one long joke... Joke joke jooooooooooooooooooooooooke!"

"I know this is the kind of thing everyone avoids talking about, but I'm going to say it. I think I'm smarter than most, if not all, babies."

"Piss me off in the grocery store and I'll get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check."

"How do you know if somebody is a vegan? They'll fucking tell you."

"What do you call a stoner balancing his checkbook? High finance!"

"BREAKING: Mel Gibson will reprise his role in the sequel to 'What Women Want'. The sequel will be called 'What Stupid Fucking Whores Want'."

"Hmmph! I've been trapped at my desk at work plenty of times and no one ever comes to rescue me."