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Joke of the Day

"Shout out to people that do not know what the opposite of in is!"

"Sorry kids, Santa isn't real. If he was, he'd be an obese pedophile, felon, and elf slave owner. Seriously though, Merry Christmas."

"Pen A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen!"""

"Why did the chicken get run over by a car as it was crossing the road? To get to the Other side"

"I once knew a girl so basic... ...that if you pushed her into a pool of acid, it'd be considered a-salt."

"I'm fluent in Mandarin said the orange."

"David Hasselhoff just changed his name to ""David Hoff"" If anything, it's less of a hassel."

"What is the difference between Coors Light and a lake? The can"

"There are a billion people in China. Just think how many more there would be if the women had bigger tits."

"You know what they say about people with big brains, right? ""You have a severe case of meningitis."""