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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally used my GF's razor and now I feel fat and I'm pretty pissed about something you guys did 3 years ago"

"I'm too old to still be ""getting too old for this."" I've arrived."

"Q: What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? A: Both can smell it but can't eat it."

"Hey McDonalds! I bet there are a bunch of 300lb+ people that want to be in your commercials too!"

"Pregnant - Beyonce Pregnant with twins - Beytwice"

"What's the definition of ""Macho Man"" A guy who comes in 1st and 2nd in a circle jerk."

"A tree falls in the forest and kills a baby, whos fault is it? The lumberjack"

"Here's a long joke.. Trumps candidacy"

"If I won $900,000,000, I'd give a quarter of it to Charity... She's a talented dancer and says she needs money for school."

"Q: Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk? A: He wanted to work overtime."