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Joke of the Day
"Hey McDonalds! I bet there are a bunch of 300lb+ people that want to be in your commercials too!"
Next Joke
"My wife has the body of a woman half her age. I suppose I should call the police."
"I stole a Tom Cruise movie from the store the other day... It was Risky Business."
"I am like an electron.... My wife can only make guesses at my precise location by means of a probability function"
"3 men asked me out while I was shoveling out my car. Lesson learned: showering and makeup are optional as long you're grunting."
"What kind of flooring does a Mexican fit? Underlay! Underlay!"
"My Grandad had a pet shop. Which was a stupid thing to have as a pet."
"How much power does a nun have. Nun!"
"I messed up planning my New Year's party I guess you could say I dropped the ball."
"Everyone, meet our new baby, Lucian ""Aww, what a nice name"" It's her dad's, so I picked his middle name ""What is it?"" Theskywithdiamonds"