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Joke of the Day

"If I won $900,000,000, I'd give a quarter of it to Charity... She's a talented dancer and says she needs money for school."

"What did the manager say to his new Chinese intern? How, are you?"

"13yo Jesus: You're not my real dad! I HATE YOU! Joseph: One of these days boy, I'll [distant thunder] I'll do nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"How do you spell hypocrisy? R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N"

"If you love something, set it free... Except if 'It' is a man. Because he'll get lost, and won't ask for directions."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't have her seatbelt on"

"I'm studying Feminism at my university It basically covers different periods in history."

"Just dropped ranch dressing on my phone then licked it off. So some of you just got to first base with me."

"my gf is like x of sin(2x)=0 she's irrational when she's on her period"

"Finally nailed my girlfriend and her twin last night You know how I tell them apart? Her brother has a mustache."