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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand how anyone can get married until they've met everyone else in the whole world, just to make sure."

"Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing? Motorist: No I was going faster than the speed of light."

"Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays."

"Why could'nt one cat impregnate the other cat?? Its because they're both pussies!!"

"A pirate with Alzheimer's sold his parrot The next day he woke up and shouted ""Where's my ship!?"""

"(meeting for naming cereal) ""List the ingredients; maybe we'll get inspired."" ""Honey, bunches of oats"" ""I think we're done here."""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because YOLO"

"I always take the high road, because the colors are more psychedelic and sometimes you see a unicorn."

"What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician? With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed..."

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flags a big plus."