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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about being a female mime? There's no glass ceiling"

"IRONMAN 3 SPOILER ALERT: Tony's all ""pffsh whatever I'm Ironman"" then he's all ""JARVIS HELP"" then he's sad but then it's like whaaaaat."

"The Top Three things for Halloween you can do now in North Carolina: #3 Swim with the sharks, #2 Have an account on Ashley Madison, #1 riding a street car in Charlotte NC."

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere."

"What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common? the resistance of both drop when doped."

"Q.When do you kick a midget in the balls? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice ."

"Did you know Helen Keller is on the back of the Alabama quarter? ""No, and I bet she hasn't heard about it."" ""She probably hasn't seen it either."""

"I went to see a Topless Ventriloquist last weekend. She was awesome. I didn't see her lips move once."

"Why shouldn't you trust a midget? Because their head's close to their butt."

"What do they do at a prom for a school of the mentally disabled? Slow dance."