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Joke of the Day

"The Top Three things for Halloween you can do now in North Carolina: #3 Swim with the sharks, #2 Have an account on Ashley Madison, #1 riding a street car in Charlotte NC."

"A tourist tried to visit a nudist beach only to discover it was blocked off. He asked the local lisping lifeguard of the beach, ""You open?"" The lifeguard responded, ""Sorry, we're clothed."""

"Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store? For the watch"

"Having Gay parents is the worst. You either get double the amount of Dad Jokes or stuck in an infinite loop of ""Go ask your mother""."

"Did you hear about the locomotive that always did what it was told? It was really well trained."

"#1 pick up line in a gay bar? ""Can I push your stool in""?"

"Old classic light bulb. How many people on a beach does it take to screw in a light bulb? depends on how many survivors there are. too soon."

"Remember when racism meant a political candidate wasn't viable? That was weird."

"An elder man is annoyingly telling a chef how to BBQ. Then the chef says ""you want us to switch positions? You come cook and I go and fuck off"""

"Billy Connolly Tells Just About the Funniest Story Ever"