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Joke of the Day

"Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album."

"What do you call a hooker with no limits? Your mom."

"I played golf with a guy in a wheelchair today He must not play much judging by the silence I was met with when I asked him what his handicap is."

"If Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman had a baby together, what would the kid be like? I know there's a joke in there somewhere..."

"Ma'am, I never said your baby is ugly. In fact, I have not even seen it. However, the aardvark in your stroller is adorable."

"What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't cry when you hit it with a sledgehammer."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit-alot"

"What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger..."

"What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen? Just don't monkey with him."

"If it weren't for smoke detectors, I'd never know when my food was ready."