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Joke of the Day

"[2 T-Rex's getting drunk] ""I'm wasted."" ""Me too. You know how bad?"" ""Don't say it again."" ""I can't feel my face."" ""Goddammit, Kevin."""

"Once a month, women go completely crazy ...for about 30 days."

"What did the male cat say to the female cat. Damn girl you looking feline."

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

"Did you hear the one about the old man at the doctor? Man: I can't pee, doc! Doctor: How old are you? Man: I'm 90 years old. Doctor: Oh, you've peed enough! Heard this one in a bathroom at Walmart."

"Black actors boycott Oscars... No slave or MLK movies this year."

"If both kids are screaming.... ....both kids are alive. It's science"

"How to get a cop's attention"

"If it takes 150 yards of stewed tripe to make a pair of leather britches for a bull, how long does it take for a double breasted cockroach to climb a bar of soft soap? You tell me and we'll both know."

"I've been working really hard on controlling my alcoholism I can't remember the last time I blacked out."