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Joke of the Day

"Lawyers must be pretty big fans of the legendary Irish rock band U2. Almost all of them go on about all the pro-Bono things that they do."

"An atom loses an electron, another atom asks 'You sure?' I'm positive."

"What instrument do piggys play in a band? Pigcussion!"

"Even if God himself appeared & said ""Dude, I am real and you need to go to church today,"" I would still be like ""Yeah it's been a long week"""

"What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't call him anything, we both know that he's not coming"

"What do you call a chicken takeover of the government? A coop."

"Looking at our latest Comcast bill and I can only pray that our daughter has zero aspirations for college"

"Wife: Tell me how many women you fucked during your 5 year trip. Husband: None! Wife: For every one that you tell me I'll give you a hundred dollars Husband: I don't need your 36000 dollars!"

"My prison name If I ever went to prison, my prison name would be The Mitochondria, because I'll be the powerhouse of the cells."

"What do you use when you have dry eyes? Moist-your-eyes-er"