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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't call him anything, we both know that he's not coming"

"a misunderstanding teacher to class: can anyone use the word fascinate in a sentence? little johnny: my sister has ten buttons on her shirt but she can only fasten eight"

"Why did Waldo wear stripes? [I wouldn't know. Ask these guys.](http://imgur.com/yTGbPI0)"

"What did the duck say to the policeman? Quack"

"I just told my girlfriend that I was an Italian mite in a past life . I'm a Roman tick at heart."

"I had no idea she was allergic to rat poison your honor"

"Dicksuckers Cramp Guy 1: ""You know what this face is?"" *Holds mouth open in an O* Guy 2: ""No, what?"" Guy 1: ""Dicksuckers Cramp, get it?"" Guy 2: ""Yeah"" Guy 1: ""How often?"""

"What did the poacher get when he saw the Northern White Rhino? Shot."

"The worst moment for an insomniac is that flutter of realisation that you are falling asleep, which smacks you wide awake again."

"Listen, when I say a movie was ""cute"" I do not mean it was GOOD. A girl saying a movie was cute is just code for ""My ovaries liked it."""