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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't call him anything, we both know that he's not coming"

"Why are fat people always possessed by the devil? They never exorcise."

"How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't care. You pick"

"I used to be in a wheelchair.... But I kept getting pushed around. I thought this joke up at work where we deal with wheelchairs and thought I'd share."

"Whenever someone says, ""It's getting hot in here"" I automatically think, ""So take off all your clothes."

"I swear to god if I ever see a car exploding I'm going to walk away from it in slow-mo and hope that somebody is filming it on their iPhone."

"Why do programmers always confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because 25 DEC = 31 OCT."

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time-consuming."

"Why are fish always on drugs? They just keep getting hooked."

"Just had a panic attack thinking how little time I've practiced picking up stuff with my toes in the event I ever lose my arms."