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Joke of the Day

"And in conclusion, may I say that black robe is very slimming on you, Your Honor. And I've never seen a bigger gavel."

"How do you make one girl disappear? ..just add a G and now she's gone."

"We call our new maid Non Sequitur. She's Latin and she doesn't follow."

"Saw a guy smoking while pumping gas & at first glance thought 'wow that's not safe' & at second glance thought 'wow that guy's on fire'"

"I dropped my electric toothbrush in the garbage disposal and accidentally co-produced a Skrillex album."

"Chuck Norris' penis has a Ph.D in sexual education. It also has a pretty mean golf swing."

"My first dad joke So, early this morning my wife got up and questioned me after I got up early with our son and fed him. Her: Did you get our son sick? Me: Nope, I got him cereal."

"Women are like snorkels... They can go down, but occasionally need to come up for air."

"I heard paralympic basketball players are very selfish, they never pass All they do is dribble."

"Me: *grabs a donut from conference room* Incredible powerpoint, Greg ""Excuse me ma'am, do you work here?"" Me: *grabs another donut & runs*"