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Joke of the Day

"And in conclusion, may I say that black robe is very slimming on you, Your Honor. And I've never seen a bigger gavel."

"I polled a bunch of horses asking them if they wanted equal rights as humans. Oddly enough, they all said nay."

"How does a chef relax? He beats his meat"

"Did y'all hear about the circus fire this weekend? Yeah, scary stuff... they say it was intents."

"If I could pick a superpower it would be to clone myself so the other me could answer the 4,291,386 questions my 4 year old asks daily"

"What do you call Nazis from San Francisco? Bay Aryans"

"What does a black lawyer deliver in court? Nigga' pleas"

"Walked out the pub the other night and seen a bloke at the end of the road with a broken down car. I said ""what's the matter mate?"" he said ""piston broke"" I said ""so am I!"" and stumbled home."

"What is the best stand-up routine of our time? I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared."

"Hitler pun ""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."" Hitler: ""So mine less."" Grammar Nazi busts in. ""MINE FEWER."" (Hitler looks up) ""Yes?"""