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Joke of the Day

"Hitler pun ""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."" Hitler: ""So mine less."" Grammar Nazi busts in. ""MINE FEWER."" (Hitler looks up) ""Yes?"""

"When the punchline is in the title. What's the worst kind of joke?"

"CIVIL ENGINEER: ok let's build stuff. UNCIVIL ENGINEER: *smashes popsicle stick bridge*"

"What do bees use to do their hair? Honeycombs!"

"I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk?...my apocolypse plans depend on it....thanks!"

"i want the first line of my obituary to be about how i once used an umbrella three different times before losing it"

"All status updates posted on my wall are purely fictional any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental."

"*calls restaurant* Me: Hi is your place a kid friendly restaurant? Host: Of course it is sir *hangs up*"

"the liberal media won't report that I can easily do 100 push-ups because they are frightened"

"What do you call a psychoanalysis game show? Family Freud"