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Joke of the Day

"Hitler pun ""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."" Hitler: ""So mine less."" Grammar Nazi busts in. ""MINE FEWER."" (Hitler looks up) ""Yes?"""

"Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well..."

"Me: God, I just feel so Brain: HUNGRY M: No, I'm very alone. I desperately want B: FOOD M: Part of me is missing. All I need is B: PRINGLES"

"I'm at my most Liam Neeson when my food is missing from the employee fridge."

"I like it soft and warm. Uh huh. Yea girl, go ahead and throw that figgy pudding in the microwave for a bit."

"Life is always one step forward, two steps back...Then slide to the left...Slide to the right. CRISS CROSS!!!"

"What do you call a prosthetic arm for a dog? Faux paw."

"I was at a antique store and came across the first Playboy magazine ever issued...... Luckily, the owner didn't see me."

"Why did the skeleton not go to his prom? he had noBODY to go with."

"New phone My sister got an Iphone 5c. I asked if I could C it she said ""No"" so I said SIRI ously"