166764

Joke of the Day

"Ever need to go to the bathroom but can't find your iPhone so you just shit your pants? I know, right?"

"So in this upcoming boxing match, Soulja Boy is being trained by Floyd Mayweather Where as Chris Brown is just getting another girlfriend to train on"

"If you're out of wallpaper, you can always resort to using a few rolls of duct tape for that nice silver look."

"Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot? He crashed his plane onto his brothers scrap metal yard."

"How do you stop a dog humping your leg? Suck it off"

"According to my fitness app, I ate a 6 mile fruit roll-up."

"Boss: How is the project coming along? Me:*closing browser of sick kick flip videos* Totally rad...icalizing our sales data analysis, Sir."

"When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!! ha ha ha"

"Sure, your carpenter could turn water into wine, Father. Now let ME tell you about a plumber who can increase his size by eating mushrooms."

"SPELLING BEE: spell ""configurable"" ME: C-O-N-F-I-G-U-R-A-B-- SPELLING BEE: (interupting) yes i am a bee but i fail to see why thats relevant"