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Joke of the Day

"If you're out of wallpaper, you can always resort to using a few rolls of duct tape for that nice silver look."

"I just want to be rich enough to donate enough money to have a wing at the mental hospital named after me"

"To avoid small talk with neighbors I've taken to checking the mail in the middle of the night like some kinda raccoon with bills."

"What do mice do when they're at home ? Mousework !"

"How to kill your wife without consequences. Hah. Made you look."

"Did you know about the guy that invented tampons? He went from rags to riches"

"What do you think about a girl isn't a virgin before 18?"

"Why don't black girls wear underwear to cookouts? To keep the flies off the fried chicken."

"How are one night stands like savings accounts? ...you make a deposit, withdrawal, then lose interest."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."